In the Name of Coffee.
We’ve been told to stop in the name of love and convinced that hammer pants, banana clips, and the mullet were created in the name of fashion. In the name of health consciousness we’ve reaped the benefits of light beer, Olestra, and a handful of other things that may have some possible side effects such as [insert grotesque and unrepeatable list of gastrointestinal maladies (and possibly death) here]. The bottom line is that no matter how poorly executed, many things have been developed in the name of something noble. So it’s no great surprise that coffee fanatics have taken a cue from the great health nuts and fashionistas of the world and invented a few items in the name of coffee. And luckily, most of these gadgets have a bit more staying power than just about anything invented in the 80’s. So sit back with a cup of your favorite brew and check out what your fellow coffee lovers have been doing with their time.
The days of scrounging around for an organic no-fat raspberry truffle latte recipe are over; the Coffee Master has arrived. This electronic bad boy has 500 recipes ranging from classic coffee drinks, like cappuccinos and lattes, to delectable desserts. And its handheld size makes it portable. So when the wannabe barista at the local coffee house looks at you sideways when you ask for a mocha breve, you can make them look like an idiot in front of everyone. Isn’t technology great?
Image courtesy of thebuzz.com
The Lock Cup is an ingenious way to keep pesky cup-stealing coworkers at bay. Removing a small key from the side of the cup leaves a gaping hole and renders it useless until the key is returned. I say, leave the cup’s hole facing your cubicle wall and let the little thief figure it out after he’s started pouring his coffee.
Image courtesy of gizmodo.com
Does your coffee-fetching lackey keep getting your order wrong? Compensate for his ineptitude with the selector mug. Moveable rings let you specify what you want (coffee, hot chocolate, or tea) and how you want it (black, cream, no sugar, 2 sugars, etc.), so you get exactly what you crave every time. Now if the gopher messes up, you’ll have a concrete reason to fire him.
Image courtesy of suck.uk.com
USB Cup Warmer
Okay, this one is for all you techies out there who love your computer add-ons. If, for some reason, your USB port is going unused, put it to work with this cup warmer. I don’t know how powerful your USB port is, but has anyone thought of using an electrical outlet for this sort of thing? Or did I miss the memo about how we’re technologically past that?
Image courtesy of mrgadget.com.au
With all the cookie dunkers in this world, whose genius idea was it to make mugs so small in diameter that you’re forced to eat half of your cookie before you can get to the dunking festivities?! Ahem. Well, someone with a little more creative energy than I came up with the perfect dunking mug. Specially shaped to accommodate the dunking of adult size cookies, this mug also has a storage shelf to hold your cookie supply. These are tears of joy, folks. True tears of joy.
Image courtesy of igraff.com
Pre-brewed Coffee in a Can
Starbucks has been selling this stuff for years, but one day Wolfgang Puck said "Yeah, but what if it heated itself?!" and made canned coffee even more eerie. I guess it works similar to those little packs of unknown carcinogens that you bend to start some chemical reaction and then put next to your skin in your ski gloves to keep you warm. So actually, this may be a dual-purpose product. Actually, I’m thinking I’d rather use it to keep my hands warm then set off some sort of chemical reaction to my stomach that makes it start gurgling and churning like a mouth full Pop Rocks. But, that’s me.
And, speaking of things that just don’t belong in your stomach, CNN Money reports that CocaCola is developing a new coffee-flavored soda. Apparently, they didn’t hear about Pepsi’s similar failed attempt in the 90’s, PepsiKona. They might want think about doing a little housecleaning in their R&D department post haste.
So there you have it, kids. A quick glimpse into the things people do in the name of coffee. Truth be told, we were impressed with a couple of these items and tried to add them to our product line, but unfortunately there were dead ends all around. Some were discontinued or not in production, others unavailable in the US, and so on and so forth. Huh. Maybe I was wrong about that whole "more staying power than just about anything invented in the 80’s" thing. After all, acid washed jeans did come back into fashion this year…